You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize