Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
