i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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