Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
