butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
