Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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