Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
