I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
