Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I need water and some morals
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.