I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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