Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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