lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
