I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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