So drunk, too bad you don't want this
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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