Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
