This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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