I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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