Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
