Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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