Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
