this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
