she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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