Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize