i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize