I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
