What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize