i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
