I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
