I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
