My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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