Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
