i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
