dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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