I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
