i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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