I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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