bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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