im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
