You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
