Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
