Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
