You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
