Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
