Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
