I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
