Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Shame is for Republicans.
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