exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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