There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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