I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
