Duck Duck Cougar?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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