I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
