I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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