apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Also, beer. Big fan.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize
