when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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