I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
