just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
