Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
