how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize