shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
